I don’t like to look back.
Because if you’re anything like me, looking back and rehashing everything gets you all sweaty and worked up.
All the shoulda-coulda-woulda’s leave me feeling a bit stressed out and overwhelmed.
What could I have done better? If I only did this. Would this have changed anything?
And so I look forward. I move forward. I press on.
And yet lately I have felt God tugging at my heart to look back… but not to point out all the things I could have done better, or the things I wish I would have known, but to see how far He has brought me. To reflect on His might and His power and all the ways He has carried me and walked me through the dark seasons of my life.
And so it is only fitting that my sweet friend Baylee would ask me to guest post on this very thing.
That I would get to share with you, just as God has been revealing it to me, all the ways in which He has used my trials, failures, and mistakes. All the ways he has pieced together my brokenness. How He has used every single thing to shape me and make me, and to know that He has used it all, in ways I never could have imagined beyond the pain.
This past week I spoke at my local church, at one of the ministries for new mothers. And as I was preparing my message and asking God to help me share His word, He reminded me of the girl I was when I first walked into that same ministry almost six years ago.
I was newly married, as well a new mom to top it off. I was scared, insecure and I didn’t know if I could hear Gods voice or even how to pray. What was I doing in life? How could I serve God? I was searching for something “more.”
And so with the encouragement of a friend, I decided to join a ministry at church for new mothers. I was hopeful and expectant and excited for what God would do in this new season.
I remember the nervous and exciting anticipation in arriving to the church, and walking into the room. And yet instead of feeling all those God inspired emotions that I had been craving, I felt nothing but rejection. All the things I had imagined ministry and following God to be, crumbled around me..
*Also, be sure to read to the end as we are giving away a book bundle, Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst! Follow along, comment over at Bayleemather.com and be entered to win both the book and the Bible study! Good luck!