“Don’t come back until I get married, Lord.”
The words my anxious heart whispered as a single 18 year old.
There was still so much I wanted to achieve and experience and I was afraid the Lord would come back and take me before I got to “really experience life.”
And then my sweet Gabe came along and answered that very prayer.
We had the wedding, the honeymoon and it was all I had wished for and more and yet still… still my heart yearned again.
“Thanks God,” it whispered… but, if you could wait to come back until after I’ve had my first child… I’d really like to experience being a mom. So just wait until then Lord, okay?’’
Fast forward not even 2 years later and Johanna Danielle made her sweet way into the world. Weighing in at 6 lb 11 oz, she made me a mama.
“Thank you Lord.’’ I cried. She was heathy, beautiful and everything we’d hoped for.
And now here I sit, just seven years later and I have three beautiful girls playing at my feet, and there is STILL so much I could dream for and that I want to see in my life.
And that is just the thing friends, the very surprise God has been teaching me over these last few years:
Motherhood is not the arrival.
It’s not the destination and its not the ultimate dream. It’s transforming and it’s beautiful, but it’s not the highest calling.
I have made it to all the milestones I so desperately pleaded for and yet my identity and the core of who I really am, still has nothing to do with the titles of wife, or mother like I thought it would.
And it’s because our true identity and the very core of our being, doesn’t come from titles like mom, wife, author, or in seeing our name in shining sparkly lights. In things that can be taken away.
I think in knowing I wanted to be a mom for so long, I somehow got it mixed up that motherhood would be the arrival of me. That in becoming a mom, my life would “finally start.”
And yet here I have it and it still doesn’t fill me in the way that it does when I’m walking in communion with my Savior and when I’m slowly abiding with the true lover of my soul and with hearing what He has to say about me.
And so the surprise, this message, it’s for all of us.
It’s for my three daughters who are blooming into who God has called them to be.
It’s for the waiting hearts who like me, are longing to finally find “the one.”
Its for my sisters who are longing to become mamas themselves and who maybe feel a bit forgotten and wonder who they are in the wait.
It’s for the women who don’t want to be mamas, despite the pressure they feel.
It’s for the new mothers who feel like they are messing it up on the daily and wondering if maybe they heard the calling wrong.
And it’s for the seasoned mothers and the ones who may wonder where the heck they went wrong and why the choices of their kids, don’t quite match up with the hard work they put in.
Sisters its for all of us.
Who we are will never be tied to the names, the titles and the accolades of the world. Who we are and the purpose of our life, is tied to the very One who gave you life and who made you with a purpose in mind.
The one who smiled just thinking about you and the way He’d use your story and to the One who called you His.
The only title you ever have to carry and the one that is always, always enough.
Can I pray for you?
Jesus, thank you that you have called us enough just as we are and that our identity is never tied to the world’s titles but directly to your heart and to being your child. Help us to find our worth in who YOU have called us to be. Give us hope that your plans for us are good. And thank you that you love us and surprise us and that you aways exceed what we are expecting. And to the one who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. Amen
Tina Rivera of The Juniper Blog is an exclusive member of Becky Thompson’s Writer Network. For more information on how to join, go to: http://www.BeckyThompsonCourse.com